That smelly stuff

That is Richard's cigarettes...Benji never really noticed it until now, so I didn't have to explain it, but nowadays he started to ask what is Richard is doing when he goes to the garden.
I don't want to lecture him about cigarettes, so I usually just say he went outside to have a cigarette because it is really smelly.

The other day we were sitting on the bus, waiting it to depart, but the driver has got down to have a cigarette. Benji of course asked why are we not going yet. I said because we are waiting for the busdriver who is having a cigarette.
"Why Mummy?" "Because he is naughty, cigarettes are smelly"

Then just yesterday when Richard went out to the garden for a cigarette, Benji looked at me and summarised:
"Mummy, only busdrivers and big Daddies have cigarettes"

 Oh...
"No, darling, not every Daddy has cigarettes (and not every bus drivers), look at Oscar's Daddy,  Zander's Daddy, they don't."

"So, is Daddy naughty?"

.....
I am lost now. Yes, I want to say, that he is. But I don't want him to think that his Dad is naughty. But also because he looks up on him, I don't want him to think that smoking is something cool.
I hope at least that this will make Richard think as well and gives him the nudge to give it up for good at last.
Come on Batman and Robin!

Things I love Thursday

Time for the positive post. And it is Happiness Day apparently today, so even more reason so..♥
I don't care that the cold is coming back, because we will be in 20 degrees in Hungary soon! I just hope our freshly planted flowers and seeds will survive ♥ We will have tomatoes, radishes, courgettes, patty pans, peas! We also planted lots of lovely flowers ♥ We spent almost the whole weekend in the garden, planting, cleaning, having the sunshine on our face, having a drink, we could hardly get the kids back in the house ♥ After a week of not going Robin had no problem joining back to nursery, walked in happily waving, ate everything, slept 1.5 hours, no crying what so ever. He is such a big boy now as well! (which I can not say I love, as I loved having a baby in the house) ♥ Benji loves library, we started to go every Monday, they can take two books each, He actually starts jumping up and down when I mention that we are going to library ♥ I like True Detective series, and the one called Girls, altough I am left alone watching that without Rich. ♥ a little cardamom in my daily coffee makes it taste amazing, and enough to add smaller amount of sugar. Double bonus. ♥ We are all healthy!

Things I love Thursday

I have to bring this type of post back as there is not too many good things happening around us nowadays, and feel I have to concentrate on positive things again otherwise I will sink into depression.
Although it started so nice last weekend, the sunshine arrived, we spent lots of time outside, just so on Monday out of nowhere had another croup cough incident at night. Followed by not very good news from home...
So...
I can at last feel spring coming ♥ We have bought a potted hyacinth which I love, always brings up childhood memories of our old house, where our garden was full of these in blue, and that smell..mmmm ♥ We have also planted some red poppies with Benji, and also some sunflowers at Nature Tots, it will be lovely! ♥ Robin has learned to blow his nose at 1.5 years old  ♥ Benefit of this week's sleepless nights that I can hear Robin breathing next to me and occasionally he strokes me with his soft, small, warm hands ♥ really grateful that we have Jayne and Peter close to us so Robin didn't need to go to nursery when ill ♥ Unfortunately I have to go back to work full time..but since this is a positive post at least we will be better off money-wise ♥ I love Benji's stories in the car. Nowadays he entertains us in the mornings with funny stories he makes up which really makes a change to our moods on a working day morning. ♥ I managed to run 4km without walking into it, go thanks to Nicola pushing me, next one will be 6 km to try. ♥ Only 12 sleeps left (as Benji counts them about 5 times a day) to go to Hungary! ♥♥♥

Bye bye Dundu

Dundu...in other words Benji's dummy, which he used for sleeping ever since he was a baby.

I always had double feelings about the dummy. When I didn't have children I had a strong opinion about them, I didn't think they are good, and hated how babies look with dummies hanging out of their mouths. I was sure that my children will definitely not have one. Of course my opinion (amongst many other) changed once I actually become a mother. Oh those blissful quiet moments thanks to the dummy!! Although I was still strict enough that dummy was only allowed for sleeping (or plane or long car journeys) 
I didn't mind this as I thought he uses that to calm himself because I couldn't breastfeed him. (although this is only my theory which was proven by Robin whom I could breastfed and never accepted the dummy). I never wanted to take it away from him with force, or pretend that the fairy took it, or anything like that. I trusted that it will be something he will decide to stop one day (although I was keep mentioning that big boys don't have dummies, but it never worked). Until last night.
I was putting his pyjamas on him after bath, when he was putting his dummy in his mouth I noted to him to have a look how old it is, it has holes on it....He took it into his mouth, but I could tell that he is really thinking about it. 5 minutes later he took the dundu out of his mouth and said "Mumy, I am going to be a big boy today, I will try to sleep without dundu", then he gave the dummy to me.
I told him that he is really brave and that would be a really good thing to do, but if he needs it I will put it on his bedside table.
We went to our bed to read him his bedtime stories where he told all the soft toys that he is going to sleep without his dummy tonight. He was really enthusiastic, but there was also a little timidness in his voice.
When I tucked him into bed, I made sure I praised him again what a big boy he is, he smiled and nodded.
I went downstairs to tell Richard what Benji decided, he was also surprised. But after about 10 minutes we heard his little footsteps coming out of his room.
I go upstairs, he was standing in his door sheepishly. I asked him if he needed his dundu back. He just answered with a little soft voice: "No, I think I rather have a Daddy cuddle." Richard went up, tucked him in as well, Benji was proudly telling him that tonight he will sleep without his dummy. Probably he just wanted to share this big news with him too before falling asleep.
The He didn't come out again. Fallen asleep. Without his dummy. (I know this as I sneaked in during the night to check if the dummy is still on his shelf)
When he woke up in the morning he didn't even realise that he slept without the dummy, I had to remind him how good he was. You can not describe the enthusiasm and proudness on his face when he realised that. So cute!
He was so proud of himself and I was proud of him too. He run downstairs to quickly tell Richard as well, and was telling about it everyone that day.
I love my big boy, although I have a strange feeling that now he doesn't have a dummy somehow the baby years are over, and now I "only" got two big, clever boys. An era has ended, they sleep and wake up alone, and will need me less and less...

And a few pictures from the weekend. Spiderman drawing for Granddad's birthday, and we have been at Conkers with Oscar.